My roommate Meredith is one of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever known, with the most positive outlook on everything. As someone who wears every single emotion I have on my sleeve, I
am amazed at her ability to always be so level-headed and happy. Meredith lost her grandfather recently, but the next week became the
proud aunt to a beautiful baby girl, Abigail Grace. Though the loss of
her grandfather is of course incredibly saddening, she sees the silver
lining of having her pretty little niece around- that's just the way she is, and I envy that about her.
Meredith shows her unwavering faith, hope, and optimism when she talks about a friend of her family, Jamie Crutchfield. Everything I know of Jamie reminds me of Meredith. She seems happy, hopeful, and kind. Jamie is 27, she has a husband named Erik and a one-year old little boy named Landen. She lives in my hometown of Winston Salem and was a phenomenal hairstylist at Ego Salon.
Jamie is also suffering from Squamous Cell Carcinoma, which is a type of skin cancer. She discovered the disease shortly after giving birth to Landen when a growing ulcer on her tongue turned out to be cancerous. She had surgery to remove the tumor and reconstruct her tongue, and spent her son's first Christmas in recovery at the hospital. Jamie then had to have a feeding tube inserted in order to endure 30 treatments of radiation and two chemotherapy treatments. Jamie started to experience pains in her neck, back, and arms not too long after completing chemo. After meeting with an orthopedic doctor, she learned she had a fractured C7 vertebra. When the doctor ran an MRI to ensure there was no cancer in the bone, they discovered the pain was being caused by a tumor wrapped around her spine. Surgeons at Baptist didn't feel they could help Jamie and referred her to Dr. Gokaslan at Johns Hopkins. In a part one of the two-day surgery, doctors at JH were able to easily navigate through her previous surgery area and remove all of the tumor that they could see, as well as her C5-C7 vertebrae without even having to open her sternum. The surgery went so well that they were finished in half the time of the eight hours originally predicted. After spending the night in ICU, Jamie went in for part two of the surgery where they inserted a titanium cage and screws to stabilize her vertebrae. She spent less than half the day recovering in ICU before being moved to a regular room. Unfortunately, after surgery and 5 rounds of stereotactic radiation, another MRI revealed cancer on her nerve endings due to pain in her arms and hands. Cancer that was found under her collarbones turned out to be cancer on her lymph nodes. Jamie spent Landen's first birthday in the hospital after being admitted for pain, and has since had an epidural inserted in her spine so that the doctors can attempt to control her pain and offer her at least some comfort. Her left vocal cord has been paralyzed and she can no longer eat or drink. Before the surgeons were able to perform a surgery to insert something into her vocal cord and stretch her esophagus, she was admitted to ICU for a collapsed lung that turned out to be the result of pneumonia. She was placed on a ventilator, taken off, then put back on after trouble breathing on her own.
On September 19, Jamie was told that there is no longer any medical treatment available, basically that there is nothing else they can do. Despite this devastating news, Jamie's faith and hope in God and a miracle have never faltered. She made the difficult decision to have surgery to insert a trach to facilitate her breathing. She was transferred from ICU to a more cancer-oriented unit, where she was still using the ventilator for deep breaths but no longer had tubes in her nose and throat. The removal of those tubes combined with the pain regiment helped make her more comfortable. A little over a month ago, Jamie lost use of her lower extremities. A couple of weeks later, her vision begin to blur and she has now lost vision in her left eye, with blurriness in her right, and can no longer move her eyes from side to side. There is also a burning sensation in the left side of her face and ear, the doctors believe the disease has progressed as a form of nerve pain as well. She has been given medication for a constant high fever that is a result from either an infection or her brain not being able to regulate her body temperature. Jamie wants to leave the hospital but so far her body has not been able to handle the at-home ventilator.
Jamie has never cursed God, never wondered why her, but I do. She never smoked, never drank excessively, always took moderate precaution in the sun. Without even really knowing her, I have to wonder why her? She is a beautiful person. Why is Erik possibly losing a woman he wanted to grow old with? Why can't Landen's mommy hold him? Why is her family watching their daughter and sister suffer? What did she do? What could she have done differently? How does a young, kind, careful, loving, talented, faithful new wife and mother deserve this? How does this fit in God's plan? I can't understand it.
I want to share her story with everyone I can. I want a millionaire to come and pay for all of her medical bills so that her family has one less immense weight. I want her to be able to experience the rest of life. I want Erik and Landen and her family and friends to have her around until she's 100. I want her to get better. I want her to live. More than anything, I want her to be at peace; I don't want her to be in pain. No one deserves the kind of suffering that she has endured, especially not someone so full of light.
I can't say with certainty that God exists and if He does, I don't know that He hears me but I pray for Jamie. Please pray for her and her family. Get on your knees, pray out loud, light a candle, meditate, whatever it is you do. Lift her up to whatever you believe and hope that she no longer has to hurt.
A news piece about Jamie
Jamie's Journey Facebook Causes page
Jamie's CaringBridge Page
